1991年，李昆霖從部隊退伍，一個年青小伙子，用孤獨的行腳在現實的社會中，開始進行生命的探索。十多年來，「孤獨」一直是他訴說的重要主題 ，也是他在存有的深淵中，在語言的斷裂之處，來自生命基底最深沈的訴說。在藝術創作裡，李昆霖的「孤獨」並非現實的再現，而是在生命歷練中，內在思想的顯像；法國哲學家吉爾‧德勒茲（Gilles Deleuze）認為，思想就是一幅影像，如此，影像就脫離了與再現體制的關係，而思想也可由一種必然無影像的思想翻轉為影像自身；李昆霖1991年畫的「孤獨」，以至於這次的展覽新作，均不適合以再現體制來觀看，否則就會說：「啊，這是乳房！」，接著，在乳房與情慾觀的詮釋下，「孤獨」將被遮蔽，而作品也將回到再現體制中，這是本文所試圖要澄明的。
很多人時，反而覺得孤獨
談到孤獨，李昆霖說：「一堆人時，蹤來蹤去，會感受孤獨，一個人時卻可做自己喜歡的事，反而不孤獨。」李昆霖所說的孤獨，是存在的孤獨，是孤獨中的最孤獨，但在所熱愛的創作世界中，他嘗試安置孤獨，這安置的過程，卻成為作品不斷涌現的過程，在這過程中，思想即影像，孤獨的魅力也於焉產生。
2006年的「樹立」「供給」，孤峰上面有孤樹，潛在的孤獨有賴乳峰的供給孕育，孤樹就有了依附，有了「關係」，「吊橋」「雷峰塔」連結了雙峰，乳峰之間也有了「關係」，「放風箏」「涼亭」則延伸了乳峰與週遭的闗聯。德國哲學家馬丁．布伯(Martin Buber)認為：「關係是一切的起源」，要對抗存在孤獨的恐懼，主要的力量就是關係，這關係並非一般人所認知的人際關係，而是要與存在的基底建立關係。李昆霖的孤獨，產生了由生命基底發射出來，與世界結合的動力，這是藝術家最原初的召喚，是朝向那不可知開放，並與之產生關係的召喚，這些召喚終致形成了各種豐富的符碼與樂章。
一隻腳，兩蕊眼睛就可以行動了
1991年所作的「孤獨Ι」，似乎是李昆霖生命的原型，也是他創作的基底，這張只有65×53㎝ 的油畫，具有獨一的，三角形的，很堅實的佇立著的大腳丫，上面掛著兩粒「乳眼」，就這樣直挺挺的走過了十六年，藝術家的心志始終如一，並沒被生存的環境所擊倒。據李昆霖說，這張小畫當年本已賣出，後來又拿了一張大畫去換回來。
李昆霖表示：「一隻腳，兩蕊目睭就可行動了。」這是生活的單純化，物慾的精神化，以至於生命的淨化。接觸到李昆霖的人，經常會感受到他的聖徒性格，他的作品題材通常與生活有關，譬如爬山、游泳，以至於哺育、生活環境等，但作品中的聖徒性則有賴特別去揭顯。德國哲學家漢斯‧喬治．高達美（Hans-Georg Gadsmer）認為藝術的理解並不是通過方法，把藝術作品當作是孤立的客體來看待，應是通過向存有的開放，聆聽作品所提出的問題，如此，作品才能真實的向我們展示一個世界。做為一個具有聖徒性格的藝術家，一個存在孤獨者不斷的召喚，李昆霖在2006-2007年的系列畫作中，正展現了他能傾聽本我高靈的回應，並凝聚了生命整合過程中某種程度的成熟與圓滿。
乳房非關情色，是母體的象徵
李昆霖在1993年的「憂媺的風與景」系列作品，就向我們展現了天地交融的，萬物創生的場景；在觀賞本次展出的系列作品時，可能首先會發現自己陷身在成群的「乳房」中，並脫口而出：「啊，都是乳房！」畫家就會回應說：「我不是在畫乳房！」然後雙方進入靜默。
李昆霖表示：「人體就是土地」「乳房是母體的象徵---是孕育所有---」，依此演繹，土地就是人體，而山就是大地的乳房，乳房就是孕育萬物的山水，在李昆霖的自我詮釋中，他的畫作其實是山水畫，畫中所看到的「乳峰」非關情色，是母體的象徵。
在聖經創世紀17：1中，神對亞伯拉罕說：「我是全足的神，你要行走在我面前，且要完全。」「全足的神」，在希伯來文是拼作“El Shaddai”，El，常繙譯為神，意為大能者，而Shaddai 則來自希伯來文Shed，就是胸部、乳房，意為全豐全足，所以「全足的神」，原意是有乳房的大能者，是全豐全足的供應者。
李昆霖的乳房即是這個「大能者」的示現，雖然他並無意去詮釋神聖的部份，但作品中那孕育萬物的象徵，與大能的供應者是相符應的；在這種符應中，大能者的乳房不斷示現，單峰、雙峰、重嶺----，都由大能者孕涵而生，一生二，二生三，三生萬物，不斷生發繁衍，這是李昆霖慣用的符碼，也是他所要表達的：「是母體的象徵---是孕育所有---」。
但在大能者的乳房之上，也經常隱含了一些喜樂、幽默、感傷，甚或譴責之意象，這些意象是相當含蓄的，正如畫家含蓄的天性一樣。譬如2006年「吊橋」「放風箏」的舒適自在，「涼亭」的自然逍遙，都是喜樂的泉源，而在「樹立」「莊重」裡，乳峰上滋生了秀麗的枝葉，在孕育中帶有幽默感，但到了「雷峰塔」、「雙電塔」，話峰一轉，大能者的乳房上居然被人類架設了電塔，秀麗的枝葉也開始枯萎，詩人與藝術家的雅緻開始斷落，感傷隨之而來；2006年的「朶朵雲」，工業的烏煙使風雲為之變色，「笑傲江湖－黑湖」，環峙的乳峰有點無奈感，到了2007年的「轟天雷」，在蒙塵之下，大能者的乳房已經變得形容枯槁，藝術家似乎感受到了大能者的「憤怒」與「譴責」，但李昆霖的本質是優雅的，他說：「我只是愛護大自然，把所看到的舒發出來---並不會去當環保人士---」
對於神聖的「母體」，李昆霖具有深厚的情感，從1991年，那孤獨的行腳一路走過來，「種子與蛹」的不斷出現，動物與植物的交互辯証，再生與繁衍使生死的二元對立得以消解。可能有人會認為李昆霖的畫風，「自由、善變，但太危險了」，但在向不可依恃的荒原邁進中，對「母體」的情感始卻是始終如一，這是李昆霖「本我」的象徵，是心靈中的核原子，它緊密交纏在各類作品的各種層次之中，也是「存在的孤獨」得以安頓之處，這是李昆霖的個體化，心理整全的過程。從這個向度的揭顯，我們就可以明白，他的作品雖自由、善變，其實萬變不離其中，看似危險，其實正是走向安全樂園的過程。
孤獨者的現身
在2007年的作品中，我們終於看到1991年的孤獨行腳走進來了，活躍在乳峰山水中；他似乎經過某種程度的演化，光頭、大眼，單腳變成了野生動物的後肢，他不再是直挺挺的抓住地面，而是演化成了一種靈活敏捷、便於跳躍的形體，在乳峰山水中的活動，他有了特殊的身體圖式，他是「孤獨者」，也是李昆霖潛意識的原型。
在作品「靜觀」「目視」中，孤獨者似乎小心翼翼的，觀看周遭，他既「搜尋」又「期待」；在「黑雕塑」中，孤獨者昂然佇立高峰上，一副「天下無人我最大」的姿態。李昆霖曾表示：「一個人時反而不孤獨，因為可以做自己喜歡的事。」這就像法國現象學家梅洛．龐帝（Maurice Merlesu-Ponty）所說的，「孤獨與聯繫其實是同一個現象的兩個面」，當孤獨者置身在「墓場與婚姻」（1992作品）中，在行禮如儀的進程裡，他懸置了聯繫，卻又不能不處在聯繫中，而在獨處時，他獲得存在感，重新取回了與世界親密的聯繫，他試圖以自在的存在，去超越其他存在，在李昆霖的作品中，我們經常可體會到這種「自我超越之道」。
另外，孤獨者的形式，在一般人的眼中，可能是殘缺不全的，但李昆霖說：「單腳比較接近那情境，雙腳就沒那感覺了。」這種「感覺」並非僅止於美感，而較重要的，應是指涉一種對存在情境的醒寤時機，在這時機裡，孤獨者不斷返回原初，看似退化的肢體，其實是回到了比原始人更原始的形式，是一種純真的、整全的存在形式，這是孤獨者經過淬煉後的現身形式。2007年的「質疑」與「疑惑」，孤獨者單獨現身，有如這種形式的特寫，並因而令人感受到強烈的身體語言，此時，我們可能會疑惑的是，孤獨者身體圖式的任務為何？但這種不確定性，在孤獨者回到了乳峰山水中時，卻又得到了消解，這種山水與孤獨的辯証性，是李昆霖發自存在基底的訴說，但在存在世界的訴說中，他總是選擇沈默，因為沈默也是一種話語，在這種話語中，孤獨者安頓了他的訴說。
2007年的「對立」，兩個孤獨者臨著兩個乳峰相對而立，而在「山頭」中，則有眾多孤獨者各踞一方，當孤獨者成群结隊時，還能稱為孤獨者嗎？李昆霖表示：「畫再多隻，其實都是一隻。」他用「隻」來指稱孤獨者，不自覺的流露了回到原初的用心，而且「眾聲喧嘩」，都是同一個源頭，都是內在的回音，眾多個孤獨者，其實只是一個孤獨者，而那孤獨者就是李昆霖他自己。在此，孤獨者不僅以本真的存在形式現身，而且可以有無限的化身，自己和自己玩得不亦樂乎，於是孤獨者不再孤獨，所以李昆霖說：「透過繪畫也可以做心理治療，可能畫完孤獨就不孤獨了。」
這是全乳（足）的給孤獨園
金剛經法會因由分第一 ：「如是我聞,一時佛在舍衛城,祗樹給孤獨園,與大比丘眾,千二百五十人俱。」「祗樹給孤獨園」是佛陀淨住說法，揭示解脫之道的地方，而李昆霖的乳峰山水則構築了世間情慾與孤獨的解脫聖地，這種為大能者的乳房與存在孤獨者淨化的界域，我們正可戲稱為：「全乳的給孤獨園」，這是孤獨者的天堂樂園。
在2007年的大型作品「吹氣」中，孤獨者站在乳峰上吹氣，孤獨者探首查看吹氣，乳峰的彈性讓孤獨者可隨時自由彈跳嬉戲---這些超現實的場景，令人愉悅的構圖與顏色，傳達了歡樂的氣息，使我們彷彿進入了神話世界；「大地迷踪」更是宛如人間仙境，盈溢美麗與祥和，烏煙與黑水轉為澄明的水天一色，原本破壞人體土地的意象：「電塔」，也都獲得了包容與消解，孤獨者遨遊在群峰之間，電塔扭動著驅體與之同樂，孤獨者在世界之中，也在天堂之中，孤獨與聯繫得以合而為一，孤獨者進入了生命的存有狀態。
從1991年的「孤獨」，李昆霖的孤獨行腳一路走過來，2006-2007的系列作品可說又是一個新的，有重要意義的跳躍。孟克（Edvard Munch）在極端孤獨時，發出了痛苦的「吶喊」（skrik），我們每個人也都會發展出一套處理孤獨的模式，而李昆霖的孤獨者卻是尋求返歸原初，回到本真，並示現了天堂樂園；也許李昆霖並無意建構神聖的氛圍，但他卻自在的進入了神聖，進入了大能者的伊甸園，在這樂園中，超越現實的奇花異果、豐富的思想顯像將會是美不勝收，就讓我們拭目以待吧！
Lee, Kunlin was retired from the military service in 1991. As a young man, he began to explore his life with lonely walking foot in a realistic society. More than a decade, the “Loneliness” has been an important theme of his utterance; it is also the deepest utterance from the depths of his being, from the fracture zone of the words, and from the basis of his life. The “Loneliness” of Mr. Lee in his artistic creation is not a representation of the reality, but of the inner thoughts. The French philosopher Gilles Deleuze says that a thought is an image. In this way, an image breaks off relations from the system of representation, and a thought that is certainly without image can become an image. The works of Mr. Lee, from the “Loneliness” of 1991 until the new ones of this exhibition, are not suitable to see from a point of view of the representation system. Otherwise, one will say: “Ah, these are breasts!”, and then, under the explanation of the breast and of the erotic point of view, the “Loneliness” will be covered, and his works will return to the representation system. This is what I want to clarify by this article.
Among people, I Feel Lonely
Talking about loneliness, Mr. Lee once said, “Among people, be busy here and there, I feel lonely. Alone by myself, doing what I like to do, I don’t feel lonely instead.” The loneliness that Mr. Lee says is the loneliness of the being, which is the loneliest of all the loneliness. But in his loving world of artistic creation, he tries to find a place for it. And the process of this finding it a place, becomes the process of an unceasingly emerge of works. In this process, thoughts are images. The fascination of the Loneliness then comes forth.
In the “Standing Tree” and the “Providing” of 2006, there is a lonely tree on each lonely peak. The implicit loneliness relies on the supply and nurturing of the breast peak, the lonely tree finds its attachment, and finds its “relationship”. The “Drawbridge” and the “Thunder Peak Tower” unite the two peaks, and between them there is “relationship”. The “Kite Flying” and the “Pavilion” extend the connection between the breast peaks and their surrounding. The German philosopher Martin Buber says, “the relationship is the origin of all.” In order to conquer the fear of the existential loneliness, you have to have a relationship, which is not that of an interpersonal relationship, but that of a relation between a person and the basis of his being. Mr. Lee’s loneliness generates a dynamism, that radiates from the basis his life, and units him with the world. This is the primary calling of an artist. It is a calling to open to the Unkown, and to have relationship with Him. This calling eventually forms many plentiful symbols and musical movements.
One Can Move with Just One Foot and Two Eyes
The “Loneliness I” of 1991 seems to be the archetype of Mr. Lee’s life, and it’s the basis of all his artistic creation. In this oil painting of just 65*53 cm, there is a big foot, unique, triangle, firmly standing, with two nipple eyes on the top. Straightly walking through this way for 16 years, the artist’s heart has been ever the same, did not fall down by the circumstances. According to Mr. Lee, this little painting had been sold many years ago, later on he traded it back with another big one.
Mr. Lee says, “One can move with just one foot and two eyes.” This is a simplification of the live, a spiritualization of the desire of the matter, and a purification of the life. One who has a contact with Mr. Lee, often feels from him a character of saints. The themes of his works are usually connected to his live, for example, hiking, swimming, feeding, life surroundings, but about the character of saints, it has to be uncovered specially. The German philosopher Hans-Georg Gadsmer says that, the understanding of an art is not by way of many methods in order to look at it as a solitary object, but by way of the opening to the being in order to listen to the question the work brings forward. By this way, the work can really show us a world. Being an artist with character of saints, being an existential loneliness’ unceasing calling, Mr. Lee is showing in his painting series of 2006-2007 that, he can listen to the response of his Self- Great Man, and that there condense a certain maturity and perfection from the process of the reintegration of his life.
Breast is not Erotic, but Symbol of Mother’s Body
Lee, Kunlin had shown us scenes of heaven and earth mingling and the creation of all things in the series called “A Sorrow Gentle Wind and the Scene” in 1993. When one views and admires the exhibition of this series, one will probably find that he land himself in groups of “breasts”, and will speak without any consideration, “Ah, there are all breasts!” And the artist will say, “I paint no breast!” Then both come into a silence.
As Mr. Lee has it, “The human body is the earth,” “the breast is a symbol of the mother’s body… it nurses all….”, deducing in this way, the earth is the human body, the mountains are breasts of the earth, the breasts are mountains-and-waters that nurse all things on earth. In his own interpretation, his paintings are mountains-and-waters, in which the breast peak is not erotic, but symbol of mother’s body.
At Genesis 17:1 God says to Abraham: “I am God Almighty. Walk in my presence and be without blame!” The “God Almighty” in Hebrew is “El Shaddai”. “El” is usually translated as “God”, means the almighty one. “Shaddai” comes from the Hebrew word “Shed”, which is “chest”, or “breast”, means all abundant and all sufficient. So the “El Shaddai” means the Almighty with breasts, who is an all-abundant and all-sufficient Provider.
Mr. Lee’s breast is the presentation of the “Almighty One”. Although he doesn’t intend to interpret the divine, nevertheless the symbol of nursing all things on earth is coincided with the Almighty Provider. At this coincidence, the Almighty breast presents unceasingly, with single peak, double peaks, multiple peaks…, all beget from the Almighty One. One begets Two, Two begets Three, and Three begets all things, and bears, and generates and multiplies continually. This is the symbol that Mr. Lee usually used, and that is what he wants to express: “a symbol of the mother’s body… it nurses all….”
Nevertheless, on the breast of the Almighty One, there are usually implicated images of joy, humor, sorrow and even censure. But they are all implicit, just like the implicit nature of the artist himself. For example, in those works of 2006, the comfort and free of the “Drawbridge” and “Kite Flying”, the natural and leisurely of the “Pavilion”, are fountains of joy; in the “Standing Tree” and “Solemnity”, on the top of the breast there breeds pretty branches and leaves; there is humor in the breed. But in the “Thunder Peak Tower” and the “Double Electricity Towers”, the utterance turns. On the breast of the Almighty One, the Human goes so far as to erect electricity towers. The pretty branches and leaves begin to wither, the elegant mood of the poets and artists begins to break off, and the sorrow follows. In the “Clouds” of 2006, the industrial black smoke discolors the wind and cloud. In the “Laughing Lake- Black Lake”, those surrounding breast peaks appear somehow powerless. Coming to the 2007, in the “Booming Thunder”, under the dust, the breast of the Almighty One has become old and worn. The artist seems to feel the “anger” and “blame” of the Almighty One, but Mr. Lee’s nature is elegant. He says: “I love the nature, and I draw what I’ve seen. …I won’t be an environmental protector ….”
Mr. Lee has a deep affection to the sacred “Mother’s Body”. He walks along with his lonely walking foot from 1991. “Seeds and Pupas” appear repeatedly, animals and plants dialect to each other, the regeneration and multiplication makes the dualistic opposition of the live and dead dispel. Some may think that the style of Mr. Lee is “free, easily changed, but too dangerous.” Nevertheless, in his advance to the undependable wilderness, the affection to the “mother’s body” is always the same. This is the symbol of Mr. Lee’s “Self”, the nuclear of the spirit and it ties up closely to every level of every kind of works, and it is where the “existential loneliness” fins its place. This is the process of Mr. Lee’s individualization, and of his psychological completion. With the uncovering of this dimension, we can realize that although his works are free and easily changed, but in fact the central theme remains the same. Dangerous it maybe, but actually it’s the process of advancing to the safe paradise.
The Appearance of the Lonely One
Finally, in the works of 2007, we see the lonely walking foot of 1991 comes into the vision, and jumps actively among breast peaks, mountains-and-waters. It seems to have passed some extent of evolution: bareheaded, with big eyes, and the lone foot becomes the hindquarter of some wild animal. It no longer grasps straightly the ground, but becomes a body agile, quick, and easy for jumping. In the movement among breast peaks, mountains-and-waters, it has a special body scheme. It is the “Lonely One”, the archetype of Mr. Lee’s subconsciousness.
In the works “Contemplation” and “Gaze”, the Lonely One seems to look cautiously at the surroundings. He is “Searching” and “Expecting”. In the “Black Sculpture”, the Lonely One stands uprightly on a peak, as if “World nobody I am biggest.” As Mr. Lee has it: “When I’m alone, I feel no loneliness, because I can do what I like to do.” This is what the French phenomenologist Maurice Merlesu-Ponty says: “Loneliness and connection are two faces of the same phenomenon.” When the Lonely One stay in the “Tomb and Marriage” (work of 1992), in the procedure of performing acts of ceremony, he suspends the connection, but he cannot but stay in the connection. Nevertheless, when he is alone, he acquires a sense of existence; he regains an intimate connection with the world. He tries to transcend the other existences by his free existence. In the works of Mr. Lee, we can often experience this kind of “way of self transcendence.”
In addition, the scheme of the Lonely One in the eyes of people maybe is fragmentary. But Mr. Lee says: “A single foot is nearer to that situation, two feet will loose the sense.” This “sense” is not only referred to an aesthetic feeling, but more importantly, it should be referred to an awakening moment to the existential situation. At this moment, the Lonely One repeatedly returns to the Origin. The body looks like retrograded, is in fact returns to a more primitive scheme than a primitive man. It is a pure and complete scheme of existence. It is the scheme of appearance of the Lonely One after quenching. In the “Query” and “Puzzling” of 2007, the Lonely One appears alone, as a close-up of this kind of scheme, and makes us feel a strong body language. Meanwhile, we probably feel puzzled about: what is the assignment of the body scheme of the Lonely One? But this uncertainty is dispelling when the Lonely One returns to be among the breast peaks, mountains-and-waters. This dialectic between mountains- and-waters and the Lonely One, is the utterance comes out of Mr. Lee’s basis of existence. But in the utterance of the existing world, he always chooses to be silent, because the silence is another utterance. In this kind of language, the Lonely One finds a place for his utterance.
In the works of 2007, in the “Counter-pose” there are two Lonely Ones standing on two breast peaks in a counter pose. In the “Mountains” there are many Lonely Ones, each on one peak. When there are amount of Lonely Ones, can they still be called lonely ones? Mr. Lee says: “No matter how many of it is painted, they are actually the same one.” His using “it” for the Lonely One, has shown unintentionally the intention of returning to the Origin. Moreover, the “many noises” are all from one source, they are all interior echoes. The many Lonely Ones are in fact one Lonely One. And the one Lonely One is Lee, Kunlin himself. Here, the Lonely One appears not only in his pure existential scheme, but also in countless embodiments, it plays with itself in a great pleasure. Consequently, the Lonely One is no longer lonely. So Mr. Lee says: “Through painting, one can also do psychotherapy. It is possible that when one finishes his painting, he is no longer lonely.”
An All-Breast (All-Sufficient) Jetavana Vihara
The Reasons for the Dharma Assembly, One: "Thus is what I’ve heard, once Buddha was in Sravasti, at Jetavana Vihara, meeting with 1,250 Buddhist monks.” The “Jetavana Vihara”(means Garden of Jeta’s Trees and of Anathapindik- the Provider for the Lonely Ones) is the place where Buddha dwelled for teaching dharma, and for revealing the way of freedom. Lee, Kunlin’s breast peaks, mountains-and-waters have built a sacred land of freedom for the worldly eroticism and loneliness. To this kind of land for the almighty breasts and for the purification of the existential Lonely One, we can call it in a funny way as “An All-Breast Jetavana Vihara”, a paradise for the Lonely One.
In the large-scale work “Blowing” of 2007, the Lonely One is standing on a breast peak, and is blowing. The Lonely One is popping out its head to check its blowing. The elasticity of the breast peak allows the Lonely One to jump and play freely at all times. These surrealistic scenes and pleasing structures and colors transmit an atmosphere of joy, make us feel like entering into a fairy tale’s land. The “Fascinating Traces of the Earth” is all the most like a wonderland of the world, brimming over beauty and peace, the black smoke and black water have turned into clear waters which merge in one color with the skies. The “Electricity Towers” which originally symbolize destroy of the body land, are forgiven and dispelled. The Lonely One roams among the peaks, the electricity towers twist their bodies and have a good time together with it. The Lonely One is in the world, and also in the heaven. The loneliness and the connection can be a unity. The Lonely One enters into the being state of its life.
Lee, Kunlin’s lonely walking foot, starts from the “Loneliness” of 1991, comes all the way until now. The works of 2006-2007 series are another new jumping with important meaning. Edvard Munch in his extremely loneliness uttered his painful “skrik”. Every one of us can also develop a set of patterns to deal with the loneliness, and the Lonely One of Mr. Lee’s pattern is seeking to return to the Origin, return to the true self, and has shown us a heavenly paradise. Perhaps Mr. Lee does not intend to build a sacred atmosphere, but he has entered at ease into the sacredness, into the Eden of the Almighty One. In this paradise, those surrealistic wonderful flowers and different fruits, and abundant pictures of the thoughts surely will be a feast for the eyes. Let’s wait and see!